I sit here waiting to board my flight after a very long three months spent recuperating with my kids in Sydney. I realise my heart is doing flip-flops, and this is because I couldn’t be more excited about being reunited with my better half and returning to my life as an expat! And it is also because I already miss my kids like crazy, and it is hard to say goodbye to the kids! One has flown off to the UK to spend some quality time with some good mates; one is back at boarding school, ready for what 2020 has to offer, and the other one is home alone (with the dog), experiencing life without her siblings for the first time.
Although for most- normality would be what I have just spent most of the past three months doing (home with the kids 24/7), to us, this flight home is our normality. Spending our time apart, FaceTiming each other as if we are just around the corner, but we are all in different sectors of the world. The reality for us is being apart in the distance only because our phone is always lighting up with constant calls to each other or text messages to our group chat.
Getting back to Singapore means that I am personally back on track to recovery and that it’s time for my kids to start living a life of independence once again without the interference of their mum complaining about everything from making their beds to hanging out their clothes. Now they have to work it out themselves once more – good luck with that!
While the home has been somewhat chaotic with visitors coming and going, friends staying over regularly, and the odd appearance from the head of the table (my better half), it was sad to feel the eeriness that quietness brings. Our poor dog couldn’t get enough visitors, so when everyone left, she really was my shadow. It’s funny how when chaos comes knocking at your door, you can’t find a moment to yourself, and you find yourself craving a little solitude. Once it all disappears, you are left saddened by it, and you can’t wait to organise the next trip back home to face the chaos once more because it is hard to say goodbye to the kids!
Instead of feeling unhappy by it all (okay, I’m only human, I may feel a little sad), I feel gratitude! Grateful for the times we spend together, making the most of every moment we share! We never take each other for granted (unless we are recouping for three months from surgery) because we know that our time together is precious and needs to be spent with appreciation.
Yes, my kids are teenagers; yes, they are children working it all out with the added responsibility of looking after each other. You may hear them arguing about the dishes being left in the sink or that the washing hasn’t been brought in for days! But all in all, I feel pretty grateful these kids are mine, pretty grateful that behind the bickering of dirty dishes, they are pretty good kids who are a tight-knit little group and have each other’s back at all times.
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